Back in the game.

"We jump into things in life as we have our mind-set on how things are going to go, we have our ground rules laid out, and we know what we want. At least, that is what we think. We tend to think that we are in control. We tend to think that we’ve got it all figured out. We tend to think that we can see things coming."

Recently I've had a lot of time to myself to think. My hectic high school life is over and I finally had some time to spend with myself.

I finally started caring for myself again. I fed myself healthy foods, put myself to bed early and allowed myself to do the things I loved, which I had restricted myself from doing so as I had previously thought that I should focus more on important things. But all these are important, which is what I've came to realise.

I think this year came most to a surprise to me. I've done things I never thought I could and I've met people I never thought I would. Everything happened so unexpectedly. And it was also by far the worst year of my entire life.

I used to be so sure of myself; the things I believed in and where I stood. But this year had left me questioning myself. I was in doubt and I fell back into old habits. It was honestly by far the worst, but it did bring me out wiser.

I learnt a lot this year. I learnt that people don't keep to their promises, and some only make them to break them. I learnt that sometimes when people break your heart, they probably don't deserve a second chance. If they could do something to you for the first time, what is stopping them from doing it again?

I really messed up my IGCSE examinations. I took the papers while I was going through something and I was so distracted and just couldn't concentrate. I wasn't exactly in the healthiest state of mind when I sat for it, so I'm quite upset about that, just bc I know that I could do so much better.

On the bright side, I managed to secure a job hehe. It has probably been a dream of mine to get a job since I was 14 and now it's actually coming true. I just thought it'd be a fun experience and I would be able to earn an extra income so I could stop depending so much on my parents for money. So if you're ever around the area, do drop by Inside Scoop, Bangsar to visit hehe.

And this entire year is coming to an end, which I am beyond glad for. I just wish next year things might change? Maybe things might get better. But this is what I've been hoping for every year, but it just seems to get progressively worse. But all I could do is hope for the best.

There are so many plans that I had been wanting to carry out for the longest time and I am finally able to. I hope this holiday would be a productive one and that I'd feel better soon. And there'll definitely be a lot more updates coming from me so do stay tuned!

Thanks for reading.
Lots of love,

x

Thing have been really heavy these days

Can I just drop everything and leave?

Can I be somewhere else?

Any place is better

I just don't want to be here

I just don't want to exist 

x J

An Adventure

My friends and I visited Taman Botani in Putrajaya for a cycle. One random day in school, Hannah suggested we go there to cycle during the holidays, and so that's what we did.

We rode on the KTM all the way to Kajang where Hannah's dad came to pick us up.

And of course I had to bring my camera along bc photo opportunities are never one to miss.

Celine looking as gorgeous as ever!

The scenery was beautiful and we spent more than ample time there just admiring the beauty of God's creation.

I hope we'll get to go back there again soon.

xx,

Janelle

Live.

Hello lovelies! Just a quick update before I dive back into my Chemistry books.

It's been 3 days since my final IGCSE paper for Malay. I'm officially done with BM for the rest of my life wheee! Haha, kidding, I'll probably always have Bahasa Melayu in my life, considering I'm a Malaysian. Not that I'm complaining tho. I think it's super interesting how our nation is so multilingual.

So just yesterday I disconnected my phone. I turned off the wifi and my mobile data. No more internet access. And honestly, I've been feeling so amazing. It may be feel odd and unusual at first, but once you get used to it, you realise how the online/virtual world is so delusional. Everyone is making something out of nothing. I still go on Youtube and Blogger and all on my laptop, if not I won't even be able to write this haha. But I'm been refraining from Instagram and Twitter, where all the negativity is, or at least for me.

Body image and mental health has been such a big issue over the years, due to the perfect image people are portraying and conveying to the viewers on social media. I'm sure they meant no harm, but the viewers might perceive a different message. Social media can be toxic, and sometimes you just need a break.

And I really feel like once you start surrounding yourself with positive vibes, you really start to see things from a whole new perspective. The world is so big, yet here you are restrained in your own room. There is so much more out there left for you to explore, so many more adventures to go on, yet you're being worked up over something so small.

Been sipping on a cup of apple cider whilst I was typing this and now I'm feeling sad again. Maybe alcohol wasn't the best idea.

love,
Janelle

Mothers' Day // BreadFruits

For Mother's Day this year, my family and I decided to drop by BreadFruits near Taman Desa for lunch after church since it was nearby.

Here's what we ordered:

Wild Honey & Sunny

Lemony Rosemary Salmon Pasta

Brunch Pasta w 7 min egg

Tangy Tomato Chorizo

It was my second time at BreadFruits. My first visit was to the one in Desa Sri Hartamas which was much smaller and busier when I went a few years ago.

The price was still reasonable as it costed around RM20 for a pasta but the serving was rather big and very filling. We order a meal each but we could definitely have shared 3 meals among 4. (maybe we're just small eaters haha)

BreadFruits @ Taman Desa

Address: Lot G13, Ground Floor, Podium block, Faber Towers, Taman Desa

Phone: +60374976915

Opening hours: Weekdays 10am-10pm, Weekends 9am-10pm

BreakFruits @ Desa Sri Hartamas

Address: No. 17, Jalan 26/70A, Desa Sri Hartamas, Wilayah Persekutuan, 50480 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Phone: +603-62010090

Opening hours: Daily 8:30am-9:00pm

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Also, a blessed Mothers' Day to all the mums out there! Often of times your love gets overlooked and your sacrifice goes unappreciated but today is the day we honour and celebrate your unconditional and never-ending love and patience for us.

Some pictures with my mum. Love you ♡

xx,

Janelle

2016

Hello lovelies! It's 2 weeks into the new year. I'm dreading all the stress that's about to come due to it being "exam year" and also being seventeen.

I've kept a planner for an entire year, updating my life on it for 357 days straight. (yes, i missed a couple days but what to do lol)

But basically this planner contained my entire life of 2015 summed up in words.

2015 has been a great year. I've been on so many adventures and met so many new people. I'm so grateful to have done the things that I've done and I can't thank God enough for such amazing opportunities.

Here's to a great 2016! ♡

xx, Janelle