"We jump into things in life as we have our mind-set on how things are going to go, we have our ground rules laid out, and we know what we want. At least, that is what we think. We tend to think that we are in control. We tend to think that we’ve got it all figured out. We tend to think that we can see things coming."
Recently I've had a lot of time to myself to think. My hectic high school life is over and I finally had some time to spend with myself.
I finally started caring for myself again. I fed myself healthy foods, put myself to bed early and allowed myself to do the things I loved, which I had restricted myself from doing so as I had previously thought that I should focus more on important things. But all these are important, which is what I've came to realise.
I think this year came most to a surprise to me. I've done things I never thought I could and I've met people I never thought I would. Everything happened so unexpectedly. And it was also by far the worst year of my entire life.
I used to be so sure of myself; the things I believed in and where I stood. But this year had left me questioning myself. I was in doubt and I fell back into old habits. It was honestly by far the worst, but it did bring me out wiser.
I learnt a lot this year. I learnt that people don't keep to their promises, and some only make them to break them. I learnt that sometimes when people break your heart, they probably don't deserve a second chance. If they could do something to you for the first time, what is stopping them from doing it again?
I really messed up my IGCSE examinations. I took the papers while I was going through something and I was so distracted and just couldn't concentrate. I wasn't exactly in the healthiest state of mind when I sat for it, so I'm quite upset about that, just bc I know that I could do so much better.
On the bright side, I managed to secure a job hehe. It has probably been a dream of mine to get a job since I was 14 and now it's actually coming true. I just thought it'd be a fun experience and I would be able to earn an extra income so I could stop depending so much on my parents for money. So if you're ever around the area, do drop by Inside Scoop, Bangsar to visit hehe.
And this entire year is coming to an end, which I am beyond glad for. I just wish next year things might change? Maybe things might get better. But this is what I've been hoping for every year, but it just seems to get progressively worse. But all I could do is hope for the best.
There are so many plans that I had been wanting to carry out for the longest time and I am finally able to. I hope this holiday would be a productive one and that I'd feel better soon. And there'll definitely be a lot more updates coming from me so do stay tuned!
Thanks for reading.
Lots of love,
